Ironman Etiquette: The Rules

Etiquette is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group. In accordance with ‘Ironman Triathlon’ etiquette, rules and bye-laws, we would kindly ask all endurance athletes to obey the following:

Rule #1: Obey The Rules
They are there for a reason. When in doubt, do not act before reviewing The Rules.

Rule #2: Lead by Example
It is forbidden for someone familiar with The Rules to knowingly assist another person to breach them.

Rule #3: Bragging Rights
Only those who have finished an Ironman distance event (3,8km/2.4mile swim + 180km/112mile bike + 42,2km/26.2mile run) within the allowed time frame have Bragging Rights.

Rule #4: Bragging Rights – Saving Ironman from Jumping The Shark
Bragging and boasting can be done both verbally and visually by using the M-dot logo in any way, shape or form, but ALWAYS in humble fashion. Excess use of M-dot tattoos, stickers, apparel and any World Triathlon Corporation licensed product (including the Ironman mattress and digital scales) will make you look like a retard.

Rule #5: Guide the Ignorant
Any athlete who does not have Bragging Rights (see Rule #3) but is seen sporting the M-dot logo in any way, shape or form, should be reprimanded mercilessly.

Rule #6: Body Fat vs Carbon
Loose body weight before spending hard earned cash on expensive carbon pieces for your TT bike. Doing otherwise may result in you looking like a retard.

Rule #7: Speedo’s Are For Swimming Pool Use Only
Speedo’s are not accepted triathlonathlon apparel. They are only to be used for swim training and should under no circumstances be used as race gear. The only exception is if your name is Faris Al-Sultan.

Rule #8: The correct number of bikes to own is n+1
While the minimum number of bikes one should own is three, the correct number is n+1, where n is the number of bikes currently owned. This equation may also be re-written as s-1, where s is the number of bikes owned that would result in separation from your partner.

Rule #9: Always have your gear ready
No matter where you are traveling to, always bring a swim kit, a bike kit and a run kit. You never know when you might squeeze a quick extra workout in.

Rule #10: …
Send your proposal for new rules to peter@endurance-junkie.com. If they make it onto the list, we’ll send you a free pair of Compression Calf Sleeves.